Very funny . . . and very appropriate! I think you've hit most all their favorite lines ;^D
Lynn

Ha! How cute, love the paint bucket in the middle!

:)

Alternates could be "too personalized", and "bodacious" (although that is a show title), and my favorite falsehood

"under $2000"

Snort snort!

BWAHAHAHAHA!

You are SO creative, and SO right on!

What about "Make it Pop"

Great job Tomorrowisanotherday!

How about?
"Love the crown molding!" but "The yard isn't big enough for the dog" & it's not at the right "price point."

"and where are you going to put *your* clothes"

And this is the dining room area, and this is the living room area...

Judiegal you bet me to it. If I hear "Make it Pop" one more time I'm going to scream.

Drat! I can't believe I missed some of those! "Make it pop" just sends me over the edge now too. Oh well, they can go on the next card :)

My DH suggested that this game be combined with the drinking game...I think he has ulterior motives, LOL.

Honestly, why aren't some of those realtors fired by their clients? If I don't want a tiny yard or the house is over my "price point," then exactly WHAT are we doing there???

Printing out now!

Tomorrow, what an observant lady you are!

Terricks, yes, "area" is so over-used. I really cringe when they use "area" to refer to a geographical location, as in, "Bruce & Tommy are looking for a three-bedroom condo in the Chicago area."

Oh, how I could I forget my all-time pet peeve..."Space!"

This would be a great "space" for...entertaining, reading, playing with the dog, eating, clipping your toenails, whatever. Or, when one is not sure what activity suits the "space" best, it's enough to exclaim, "What a great space!"

I'd like to add one of my pet peeves:

Man: "This walk-in closet is so big"
Woman: "Yes it is, but where will you put *your* clothes?"

Everybody chuckles...

SO sick of this one.

On every Designed to Sell someone chirps the words "light and airy." Gag

Hilarious!

""and where are you going to put *your* clothes"" Yesss! Trite joke, not especially kind to spouse.

And don't forget, "This is nice for entertaining" said in the most simpering voice possible. They say that even if looking at a bistro table & two chairs stuck in a corner.

On House Hunters: It's kind of small.

"Bringing the outside in"
Aaaaaack!

Yes, the poor guys out there who have to live with no "dedicated space" for their wardrobe! Palimpsest was the first to note the "where will you put *your* clothes?" whining. This is usually directed toward the male. Of course, he can respond, "I don't care, 'cause I'm going to be in my new "man cave" while you're hanging up your clothes!" Whoohoo, I think that house is a winner!

Aw man, I missed palimpsest's post! O.K., I see it, sorry Palimpsest :)

And I like the raise of "man-cave"

"It's dated" - It will be hip and retro by next year

"Buyers won't like that" - I don't like that, and I have transference and projection issues

"Clean Lines" - Dull and unimaginative

"Updated" - Authentic items that belonged in this house unsummarily trashed in favor of generic, cheap but trendy stuff from the big-box home center

"That will have to go" - I really don't like it

"Nice" - Boring, let's move onto something else

"Great views" - Not a dumpster in sight

"Keep it on the list" - Isn't a Superfund site

"Bling" - not to ever be confused with true prestige. An ostentatious display of fake wealth that no actual rich person would be gauche enough to wear or be seen in.

"It's over their budget" - Subtlety will be lost on the lowest common denominator we're aiming at

"Thrift shop" - Attempt to make shoddiness a positive attribute

"Glue gun" - Even higher-tech than duct tape

"Paint" - A panacea that raises the value of every home by 15%

"Remove the bright brass" - when 99% has been removed, the remaining 1% will become a treasured, sought-after rarity. See also: clawfoot tubs, wood stoves.

"Designer" - someone designed it. Not someone famous, or evidently talented

"A soothing/neutral color" - Realtor Beige

"It was worth it" - It's too late to go back

"It's got great flow" - We tore down too many walls

"Stainless steel appliances" - At least tacky fridge magnets won't stick, but fingerprints will

"Will it be done in time?" - 95% will be. The other 5% will take longer than the first 95%.

"Good bones" - It hasn't been condemned

"Granite" - More specifically, Uba Tuba. We have a truckload in back.

"Hardwood floors" - Let's make a attribute found in 95% of homes seem like a selling point

"It could work" - but it probably won't....

"What were they thinking" - some originality instead of following the herds....

LOL! Excellent, lee676!

Thanks... I've never even watched HGTV before (we're too cheap to get cable TV) but I hear these same things from real-estate agents, builders, and remodelers all the time. They seem to think the presense of $90 worth of crown moulding will somehow influence someone contemplating spending $700,000 for a house.

I'm kind of glad to see polished brass go out of style though. The stuff seems to irreparably tarnish and look corroded after a few years unless properly maintained (I'm not sure what proper maintenance entails; I just know that basic chrome doesn't need it). I've seen even high-end brass plumbing fixtures look like junk by 10 years after it's new. I'll give the currently-popular nickel/pewter/brushed silver look another few years before it becomes dated, and about 20 years before it becomes hip/retro and fashionable again.

I avoid becoming out of fashion by never being in fashion in the first place. Probably something I learned from having to wear hand-me-down clothes from my 10-year-older brother when I was growing up.

Lee--I cannot believe you have never seen HGTV! Your translations above are right on the money!

I must confess that, with the exception of bathrooms, I actually like the look of polished brass. I keep looking for its return. Occasionally I will see some in a current magazine, so I guess there is some hope our house will be "fashionable" once again :)

If you like it, who cares if it's fashionable? Good design is timeless, anyway.

"Realtor Beige" actually is what the guy at the nearby carpet store calls that "neutral" color - it's the only carpet they actually keep in stock at the store, and he sells nearly all of it to people about to sell their house, often at the insistence of their real-estate agents to pick a neutral color that won't clash with anything (except maybe pure white).

> Man: "This walk-in closet is so big"
> Woman: "Yes it is, but where will you put *your* clothes?"

> Yes, the poor guys out there who have to live with no "dedicated space" for their wardrobe! ..... This is usually directed toward the male.

I think I speak for many guys - my clothes go on the floor!

The dirty clothes anyway. The clean clothes are still in the laundry basket because I was too lazy to fold my shirts and put them back in the dresser....

Tomorrowisanotherday: How creative. Hope yu look back on this site and pick up your kuddos for starting this

Lee, thanks for sending me over here. You are gooood.

You all have weaved wits and I will send some more folks over if I can.Some posts lead to so much fun and I love this one. to quote Cartman (don't ask) You guys are the greatest!

I ranted on my own post "Are Glass Blocks out Style" at the end of the posts along with John and some others. We trashed the real estate people and HGTV. go on over. What do you drink.
You people here, including lee, are the most clever folks. I hope my posting will bring this back up top.
Hugs to you mugs, Maggie

> Lee, thanks for sending me over here. You are gooood.

Wow! Haven't checked in here for a couple of weeks.

Maggie200, you're more than welcome. I'm not just good, but gooood? That's considerably more complementary than anything I've heard IRL lately....

I just noticed my bedroom lamp has bright brass trim. Darn, it's out of style! But I'm pretty sure the HGTV guys would be so disoriented after seeing my mismatched furniture that the lamp would go unnoticed anyway, so they'd probably let me keep it.

I see they finally got this forum fixed up some. I'll have to sift through it tonite and see what i've missed.

Hope you're doing well. - Lee

Lee, that's pretty darn good...and funny, too! Was 'pop of color' mentioned? I'm starting to cringe every time I hear the word 'space' mentioned~who started *that* anyway? When Candice Olsen first appeared on the scene, I don't remember her using any of the common home decor-isms, but now she's as bad as the others. 'Adding value' and 'easy to install' are also words I can do without. ;o)

I missed this topic first time around, funny stuff!

A few of my nominations:

Taste specific - usually means stunningly tacky/ugly, and seems to be tactful realtor-speak for 'for the love of god get rid of that horror!' as s/he gazes at the lime green wall, purple shag couch or beer can chandelier.

Open and flowing - holy grail of interior design invoked by the buyer, usually a woman, as she starts speculating about whether every single wall can be knocked down to yield that all important internal vista.

Nice yard - especially jaw dropping on the HGTV shows set in urban areas. To see 4 square feet of concrete, ringed in by the towering dingy brick walls of the neighboring multi family dwellings, described as a 'nice yard' in Chicago, Boston, etc is always amusing.

Ann

"Adding value" - adding cost

"Open and flowing" of course means that you'll never be able to fall asleep because you can hear the TV from the other end of the house, even with the volume down. When did the concept of "rooms" become unfashionable?

Lee,
THAT'S some funny/wicked stuff...I love it!
(from one Guy to another here!)

MY favorite words..."Open concept"...icky!
....as if all "un-roomed homes" were designed with this Holy-Grail design theme...

Our bi-level MAY be worth ~ $230K now.
>>> If I could just get some crown-molding and some "Hardwood" installed, I just KNOW it'd fetch $275K...!
>>> Oh wait...I've got FPE paint in my lower-bath. Make that $280K now...?!?!? Other areas have C2 and RL. Jeez...I'm pushin' 300K for the home now?!?!?!

(Hee-hee)

Faron

bump

I only bumbed this up to see if the thread was still somewhere, since we only have 3 pages of posts showing.

I found this april thread when I did a search with auntjen's name in order to find the thread where she said she was going to England.