Wedding etiquette for uninvited.
So, my niece, who has had a tough life, is finally spreading her wings and getting married. She sent out Facebook invites and it appears she is not making a big deal out of the wedding. I am not on Facebook, nor did I receive a snail-mail invite. I am not particularly close to her, we live thousands of miles apart, but I admire her grit and determination from pulling through less than ideal circumstances.
As such, I would like to support her decision to go for a bit of happiness. Her (Facebook) invites states that in lieu of gifts, please donate to her or your own favorite charity.
Is there any protocol here? Should:
#1. Send a "congratulations on your engagement" card with a note about donating to a charity in her and fiances honor.
#2. Wait until after the wedding and send a card and note about a donation.
#3 Forget the whole thing as I wasn't invited.
#2. Life is too short to complain that you didn't get an invitation because you aren't on FB.
Don't get me wrong. Not complaining because I didn't get an invite because I am not on FB!!
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It sounds to me that even though you’re not a big part of each other’s day to day lives you are still happy for her. It sounds like she can’t swing the big traditional wedding which could be a factor in not being able to invite you.
I know you didn’t include it in there as an option but since she mentioned it in the fb post, maybe just send her a card with a nice message and a check. It sounds to me that this would be very appreciated.
Michele, that's a lovely thought, thanks. I obviously don't know the particulars of her financial needs. I think I'll do both...send a check to her and a donation to an animal shelter in her name. Thanks!
You know Woman of Steel, I think you have a soft heart in there! ;-)